Because Oi, Hayaku! has gone down, I have taken my posts from OH! and brought them to MANiME for the sake of completion. This was the final official post in the blog, titled “A Panel is Worth a Hundred and Sixty-Seven Words”, posted in January 15th, 2009. I hope you enjoy.

A picture is worth a thousand words, or so they say. Well, they can go suck it.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Such is a phrase that is often said by people who look at pictures their whole lives. Namely, illiterate children and high-class art critics (though then again, who can tell the difference?) who claim that any number of words fail to express the beauty that a picture provides. Yeah, right.

Here, let me paraphrase this picture in four words. It’s a fucking dot.

Now that the baseless theory has been disproved, let us proceed. For the most part, a manga will have a introductory first chapter of considerable length and then shorter following chapters. For instance, One Piece, Naruto and Bleach have around 20 pages per chapter per week. Fullmetal Alchemist gets around 40 to 50 pages, though that’s once a month.

The question, then is just how efficiently the mangaka uses these limited pages. A good manga chapter should be able to make the reader feel like something has actually happened during its course. It should not, and I repeat, NOT make you feel like you’ve been cheated out of your money by a fast-talking Korean swindler.

Let us take the example of Bleach the worst offender. Virtually every chapter of Bleach these days seem to advance the plot at a painstakingly slow pace. There’s no meaning in the battles; a character is introduced, shows off his special power, then dies. You don’t believe me? Try the recent chapters.

From chapter 318 to 339, we’ve had four new arrancars, each of whom died in a few chapters. All we get is a few words, a release and inevitable death. Or, take the three already-existing arrancars, Mila Rose, Sun Sun and Apache, who apparently can summon something by ripping off their arms. No explanation is given – apparently, Kubo doesn’t think it’s worth the time to explain something that doesn’t really make sense. Furthermore, these three arrancar were given no distinct personality, though that can be said about all characters in Bleach, main or minor. Oh, and they died, too.

The flaw lies in the fact that Bleach spams its pages with gigantic panels. Each page has only around 3 panels, or even 2. And that’s not counting those two-page spreads. When a character talks, it’s rarely anything of importance. Bleach manages to bring about a spectacular paradox – on one hand, it says and does little. On another hand, the story progresses with frightening speed without actually furthering the plot. Where there should be plot holes, there are just… holes. The plot was probably bleached.

Of course, just cause Bleach is a pile of crap doesn’t mean the opposite works just by itself. Having TOO much shit in one chapter makes reading a pain, unless it’s exciting / enlightening enough to hold your attention. You try to make something TOO detailed, and it gets ignored. For instance, take Black Lagoon. It’s an awesome manga with great characters, but I gave up on trying to make sense of why things happen because I couldn’t make sense of the conspiracies in the current arc. All I know is that Roberta wants the Americans dead, and really, what reason do you need to want Americans dead?

But I’ve said enough about stuff that you don’t care about. Let’s now return to the problem at hand. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then how much is a panel worth? Well, then let us resort to this beautiful formula to figure it out.

And that, my dear readers, is why a panel is worth a hundred and sixty-seven words.

Because Oi, Hayaku! has gone down, I have taken my posts from OH! and brought them to MANiME for the sake of completion. This was the fourth official post in the blog, titled “Cause and Effect Vol.01 – Lolita Complex”, posted in January 15th, 2009. I hope you enjoy.

Original Excerpt: You’d think that since the term Lolita was created by a white dude, the Westerners would be responsible for pedophilia. You’d be amazed at how wrong you are.

Sometime in the past century, a white dude named Vladimir Nabokov wrote a sickening story about a dude who fell in love with a little girl who reminded him of his childhood sweetheart and tried to get funky with her. Then, two years ago, I was forced to read the fucking novel for an English class. Long story short, I didn’t finish it and read the summary in Wikipedia. The book Lolita sparked the use of the world lolita (fucking duh?) which has come to take a significant part in the anime and manga culture.

The term lolicon is familiar with almost anyone who’s spend some amount of time in the anime and manga universe, and lolita fashion (with gothic lolita being the most famous, perhaps) has captured the hearts of otaku everywhere. Case in point, Rozen Maiden.

If the West created the term lolita, then why am I blaming the Japanese for spreading pedophilia across the world? Because, simply put, the Japanese took the lolita and threw her in the faces of the rest of the world. They did this through two methods – shounen manga and magical girls.

If shounen manga has one rule it is of the younger generation surpassing the older. Naruto is particularly anal about it, spewing shit about the younger generation every other fucking chapter. In the name of connecting with the younger readers, the characters of shounen manga are young, very young. And they become even younger. First, they’re in high school. Then it’s middle school. Then we get even further to elementary school. If you think about it, the main characters of Naruto were 10 at the start of the series, and even with the time skip they’re still far from adulthood. Bleach’s main characters are in high school, and even the shinigami that are hundreds of years old look to be in their teens. And the obvious rule of otaku is that these characters appear in doujinshi.

And you know who gets their hand on those doujinshi.

At one point or another in her life, a little girl dreams of becoming a magical girl. It’s like how boys want to be ninja wizards that shoot lasers from their eyes. Pandering to that dream are the corrupt animation studios and vile mangaka in the world, who exploit those innocent dreams by taking them and giving it to overweight lazy virgins who have no purpose in life. Take, for instance, Magic Girl Lyrical Nanoha. While being a magic girl series, it’s made primarily for men of ages 19 to 30. Again, like with shounen manga, these series are violated by the rule of the otaku and left in the alley. Most series passed away from the shock, and the ones that did, like Nanoha StrikerS, suffered from post-traumatic stress and were mangled horribly.

This is Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha before the violation.

This is Nanoha StrikerS after the violation.

This is Nanoha StrikerS after getting some therapy.

But is Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita the true origin of the lolita complex? Well, this may surprise you. The first example of moe, the character that would eventually fuel Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita… was Astro Boy. Yes, Astro Boy. A young and nubile bare chested robot child who captured the heart of millions. While Lolita was published in 1955, Astro Boy started in 1952, a whole three years PRIOR. Moreover, we have evidence that Vladimir Nabokov wrote Lolita only after divine inspiration from one man.

So, the truth is revealed. Vladimir Nabokov created the term lolita. But even he was nothing more than an unwitting pawn of that devious devil, Osamu Tezuka.

Cause and effect. A man causes, an effect happens. The creation of the lolita complex is yet another volume in the series of cause and effect. Thus, in the end, we come to a conclusion. Vladimir Nabokov created the term lolita, and Osamu Tezuka created Vladimir Nabokov. Thus, by the rule of logic, Osamu Tezuka created lolita, and therefore, manga and anime are responsible for the pedophilia.

And that’s a heaping pile of truth you can’t disagree with.

Because Oi, Hayaku! has gone down, I have taken my posts from OH! and brought them to MANiME for the sake of completion. This was the fourth official post in the blog, titled “The March of the DVDs in the Week Before Christmas”, posted in December 19th, 2008. I hope you enjoy.

Original Excerpt:
A battle waged between those of the Middle Ages,
A question that cannot be answered, even by the sages.
Is it the old ones that we must revere?
Or will the young ones win this year?

A time before Christmas, an era of joy,
What did Maggeh buy? Nay, not a toy!
But something that would give him much more pleasure,
An anime DVD, ay, that’s the treasure!

Into the mall did young Maggeh walk,
And straight to the DVD section, not bothering to talk.
A whole row of bliss did appear before him,
The brilliance of the DVDs made everything else dim.

Neon Genesis Evangelion and Bleach side by side,
While next to Sailor Moon did Midori Days bide,
Karin the Chibi Vampire, the Familiar of Zero,
And Card Captors, with that creature called Kero.

”Oh, what shall I pick? So many to choose!
If I take this one, that one I’ll lose!
Unless someone helps me decide what to buy,
I’ll be so sad that I may start to cry!”

Now, Maggeh was not a very bright lad,
Asked someone for help, he could have had,
But devoid of ideas, this young man was wrecked,
Until the DVDs came to life, unchecked.

”Worry not, young Maggeh!” said Hellsing,
”We’ll give you the advice you’re wanting!
For we exist to make you smile,
And for that we’ll go the extra mile!”

All around Maggeh did the DVDs crowd,
They made a ruckus, they were quite loud.
Yet they remained orderly, until suddenly when,
Gundam Seed bumped into Eureka SeveN.

”Get out of my way,” said the mecha anime,
”Before I decide to do you away.”
And before Maggeh could bring peace to the land,
Things started to get a bit out of hand.

Clannad punched ToHeart right in the face,
While Speed Racer did True Tears disgrace.
Tenchi Muyo screamed at the top of her lungs,
While Inuyasha started ripping out tongues.

During a slight disagreement about a protagonist’s name,
Which both of them sought to claim,
The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi did erase,
The Ouran High School Host Club, from existence, without a trace.

Pokemon and Digimon, while undeniably brothers,
Still fought each other, being from different mothers.
Pokemon did try with all its might,
But little yellow rodents weren’t hard to fight.

When temporarily did they quit,
The DVDs found themselves quite split.
Two factions of warriors stood a glaring,
To move, each side was daring.

One side was led by Astro Boy,
The other side by FMA, which had that guy Roy.
(Granted, there were some in between,
Like Initial D, but being insignificant, they remained unseen.)

The group of two (or three) thus did prepare,
For a massacre, simple and fair.
For one second everything did seem to stop…
Then suddenly, a pin did drop.

In shock Cowboy Bebop shot Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha,
And the rest could only watch in awe.
Then chaos erupted and in a moment’s passing,
Claymore decapitated Gundam Wing.

Prince of Tennis knew not which side to pick,
And was beaten to death by a gigantic stick.
(Which DVD did that deed we are unsure,
But PoT was crap, so no one cares, we can assure.)

”We came first!” Astro Boy did roar,
”Respect us, who existed before!”
FMA countered, “Shut it, you blasted oldie!
You’re so old, your brains have gone moldy!”

”None of you would even be here but for me!”
Wailed the tired old man, NGE,
But his tired old tirades went unheeded,
For his opinions were quite unneeded.

In angst – for that was what NGE was about -
In himself did old NGE doubt.
This grief drove the poor thing insane,
And he killed himself to escape the pain.

With a heave, Azumanga Daioh threw Astro Boy down,
Where the DVD splattered like a pie from a clown.
(And while that might not seem like that big a fall,
Remember, readers, these DVDs weren’t that tall.)

Yet Astro Boy would be avenged,
For Berserk came up and delivered revenge.
Cutting down DVDs left and right,
Oh, what a sight, oh, quite!

The carnage claimed the lives of so many,
And some kid screamed, “MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY!”
It seemed as if the war would not end,
And that these wounds would never mend.

When suddenly from nowhere appeared a savior,
A halo on her head, such angelic behavior!
Aya Hirano, the Goddess herself, had come to the store,
Having decided that she could take it no more.

”Oh my beloved DVDs, will you not stop?
To see you destroy another, my heart does drop.”
Aya’s words rang true and clear,
And in the eyes of many did form a tear.

Many of them began to lay down their arms,
They were moved by Aya’s lovely charms.
Oh, could this be, a Christmas miracle?
Yeah, right, have you forgotten? This shit’s satirical!

But out of nowhere, out of the blue,
A spear appeared and ran Aya through.
Everybody wondered who could have gone so far,
Why, none other than a copy of Lucky Star!

To have been killed by her own fame, how ironic!
Alas, life is but a bitter tonic.
With Aya deceased, the DVDs raged,
And once more in battle engaged.

Screams rang through the air as DVDs died,
The light bulbs shattered, and some of them fried.
And all while this awesome battle was afoot,
A Canadian clerk wondered what the fuss was aboot.

In the end, after an hour and a half,
The battle was broken up by the security staff.
DVDs lay broken, tattered and battered,
The treasure trove of disks, most of them shattered.

With a sigh, Maggeh stared at the mess,
And chose Code Geass, over the rest.
And thus, amidst the carnage, a lesson was learned,
”Fuck you, Sir William Temple, I’ll stick with modern.”

Because Oi, Hayaku! has gone down, I have taken my posts from OH! and brought them to MANiME for the sake of completion. This was the third official post in the blog, titled “Simple is Best”. I hope you enjoy.

Warning: The following post contains spoilers that aren’t really new anymore, so if you really don’t know the stuff in here, then you haven’t been keeping up with stuff. I mean, I’m out of the loop, and if you don’t know stuff that even I know, then you must be REALLY out of the loop.

A few days ago – though by the time this post is posted, it’ll have been two weeks ago – I had the pleasure of watching Forbidden Kingdom, starring Jackie Chan and Jet Li. In short, it was an awesome movie. But then again, that’s not why I’m bringing this up. No, I’m bringing this up to talk about simplicity.

Why Forbidden Kingdom is Awesome

One of the reasons why Forbidden Kingdom was, in my eyes, so awesome, was because the plot was quite simple. Of course, that’s not the only reason. There’s the fact that Jackie Chan is in it, the awesomely choreographed fights, a white kid as the main character (wow, who’d have guessed?) and some other stuff, but its simplicity was what I found so amazing. By simple, I don’t mean the movie itself was simple, but rather that the plot, the story, was simple. There were no secret sudden betrayals. No sudden plot twists that made no sense. There were the protagonists, and there were the antagonists. It was clear who was on who’s side. Nobody changed sides, there was no backstabbing and when people died, they actually died.

And when I watched this amazingly simple movie, the only thing I could think about was how refreshingly innovative it was.

The Point

Because, face it. We’re living in an era where a movie that doesn’t have some half-dozen plot twists doesn’t do very well. Virtually every movie has to have a plot that takes you halfway somewhere, then turns around and goes, “Oh, sorry dude, you’ve been going the wrong way,” and then completely overhauls the entire fucking process. Every character has a secret agenda, because the producers want to make a sequel, and the secret agenda helps pave the way. I’m not saying that multiple plot twists are always bad, of course. I enjoyed the constant side-changes, dues ex machina revivals and so on in the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, though I am aware that plenty of people had problems with the fact that they found the plot to be complicated. But I’m just saying, there’s just too much of it these days.

Take horror and / or thriller movies. It seems like at least 90% of them have a twist ending, one way or another. Oh, wait, Jigsaw is the old man? Wait, there’s another Jigsaw? Wait, the monster survived? Wait, this is all the main character’s delusion? Wait, the kid was the actual killer personality? Wait, the hero became the monster? Wait, Bill Clinton did not have sex with that woman?

Differentiating Between Plot Twists and Revelations

Now, let’s take this from a manga and anime point of view. We see plot twists quite often, whether it be seinen, shounen, shoujo or whatever other categories there might be. Let’s take a look at a few of them. Cause I’m too lazy to list more than three.

• Betrayal: So, the heroes are in a journey, nearly there to the boss of the season, when suddenly, one of them goes and stabs them in the back. Sometimes, literally.
• Betrayal-Betrayal: So, as it turns out, the guy that betrayed them didn’t really betray them. He was just being a good friend by being a double-double-double-triple-agent.
• Death and Revival: There is a saying in the anime community, “People die when they are killed.” This is sometimes followed by the saying, “In Sunrise, no one’s dead until you see the body.”

Granted, there is a difference between a plot twist and a revelation. A revelation is something along the lines of…

• “Wait, Haruhi is a girl?”
• “Wait, Haruhi is God, and you’re an esper, and she’s an alien, and she’s a time traveler?”
• “Jon… this child is yours.”

A revelation is something that’s quite clear. It’s the kind of information you might see on the back of the DVD box. Want some proof?

I thought that when I entered high school, my days of believing in aliens, time travelers and ESPers were going to be over. That is until she introduced herself. Claiming to be interested in only aliens, time travelers, and ESPers, Haruhi Suzumiya was the strangest girl I’ve met in a long time. Before I knew what s going on, I’ve been dragged into her weird club, and it looks like I’m not the only one who has been drafted into this SOS Brigade of hers, because there are three other students who don’t seem to be so ordinary themselves. Either way we’ve all found ourselves caught up in Haruhi’s quest to search for all things extraordinary. And what’s this I hear about us making a movie?

Basically, a plot twist is called a spoiler, while a revelation is considered obvious knowledge in the community. The timing is also important. Haruhi being a girl is not a plot twist cause you find out in the first episode, and because the DVD box tells you outright. Angela (from Sleepaway Camp) being a boy is a plot twist, cause it happens at the end and is designed to make you go, “MOTHERFUCK! SHIT! WHAT THE HELL, MAN?” and such. Both surprise you, but a plot twist seems purely designed to shock, while a revelation helps the plot go along.

Notorious Examples

The most obvious example to come to mind when dealing with plot twists is, of course, Code Geass. Or, to be precise, Code Geass R2. Code Geass, not as much. Code Geass was kind of like LOST, except LOST didn’t make sense. Virtually every episode ended with a plot twist in one way or another, which gave it the notorious status as a trainwreck series. Let’s show you some of them.

• Episode 2: Rollo is the pilot of the Vincent?
• Episode 4: Lelouch mindfucks Rollo?
• Episode 5: Nunally is the new Governor-General?
• Episode 7: The Black Knights are going to join the Japan Special Zone?
• Episode 8: There are so many Zeros?
• Episode 9: Zero captures the Tenshi? AND ORANGE IS STILL ALIVE?
• Episode 10: Lelouch is at two places at once?
• Episode 11: Gino and Anya join Ashford Academy?
• Episode 12: Shirley gets her memories back?
• Episode 13: PEOPLE DIE IN SUNRISE?
• Episode 15: C.C. loses her memories?
• Episode 18: Nunally got FLEIJ’d?
• Episode 19: The Kuro no Kishidan are a bunch of weak-willed easily-manipulated pussies?
• Episode 21: Lelouch is the emperor?
• Episode 22: Nunally is alive?
• Episode 24: Nunally can see?
• Episode 25: This series had a plot?

Okay, I admit. Not all of them were plot twists. Some of them actually… um… made sense? Plus, I only added in the plot twists at the end of the episode, or near the end, at least. Cause face it, Code Geass R2 had WAY too many to list. Besides, that’s not to say that I didn’t like Code Geass R2. The Code Geass series is my favorite anime series. Though I guess that says more about me than the series, really.

Really, nothing matches up to Code Geass in sheer plot twistage, but I’ll just list a few more anyways.

• Zero no Tsukaima ~ Futatsuki no Kishi: Satoshi gets Phoenix Down’d?
• Tower of Druaga: ANOTHER TOWER? Sudden betrayal?
• Bleach: Aizen is alive? BLEACH IS A POPULAR SERIES?
• Naruto: Itachi was a good guy? Tobi is Uchiha Madara? NARUTO IS A POPULAR SERIES?
• One Piece: ONE PIECE GETS LESS RECOGNITION THAN BLEACH OR NARUTO DESPITE BEING INFINITELY SUPERIOR TO THEM?

You’d think I’d list some more… but if you did, then you don’t know how I think. AND FUCK YOU IF YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD PREDICT MY THOUGHT PATTERNS. I’M NOT SOME KIND OF PREDICTABLE BITCH, DAMN IT.

The Biggest Plot Twist

Returning to the subject of Forbidden Kingdom, the movie had virtually no plot twists, which might explain why Rotten Tomatoes gave it a mediocre rating. Or it could be that the community of Rotten Tomatoes are a bunch of fucking morons who don’t know something fun when they see it, and deserve to be hung from a string and prodded with blazing-hot iron rods for 72 hours, and then another 72 hours. I support the latter, or would, if I didn’t have problems with this entire former and latter business. Yes, I know. I should be ashamed of myself.

So, in this day and age, what might the biggest plot twist be? Snape kills Dumbledore? Rosebud is the sled? Nunally is alive?

No, the biggest plot twist you can hope for in an anime is this… A LACK OF ANY PLOT TWISTS. Hence, Forbidden Kingdom was, in my opinion, a movie with the biggest plot twist. And it achieved that by not having any.

Why the crap can’t we have something like that these days?

Plot Twists and Your Mother

Plot twists did your mother. That’s how you were born.

DUN DUN DUN!

Conclusion

A personal opinion of mine is that an anime that is designed to shock, to surprise without any relevant plot is something that’s only good for one watch. Once you’ve seen the shocking secret behind an episode, what fun is there in watching it again? A series that is created simply with the purpose of making you go, “NO WAY!” It’s a one-trick pony and a one-shot puppy. For those of you wondering what a one-shot puppy is, it’s a puppy that gets shot once in the head. That often kills puppies, you know?

This age of plot twists is not one that is particularly beneficial. Nowadays, we’ve become far too accustomed with seeing things that have them that we’re uncomfortable when dealing with things that don’t have some kind of plot device that doesn’t make sense. Back to the example of Forbidden Kingdom, I couldn’t fully enjoy the movie on my first watch because I was constantly apprehensive. The thoughts that went through my mind as I watched weren’t “Oh, this movie is awesome!” but rather along the lines of “Who’s going to betray them? It’s not the main character. and it’s not Jackie Chan, cause Jackie Chan doesn’t play bad guys. I bet it’s Sparrow. Sparrow’s gonna betray them!” This, as you would guess, kept me from being able to view the finer aspects of the movie,such as the awesomely choreographed fights and the awesomeness that is Jackie Chan. The second time I watched it? I wept tears of joy. Or it might have been my eyes stinging from having stared at a computer screen for so long.

Really, this doesn’t apply just to Forbidden Kingdom. When I watch or read anything, the first thing that comes to mind is, “Who’s the traitor?” I’ve come to a point where I cannot imagine a manga, a movie or a book that doesn’t have someone betraying another person and a dead guy coming back for some unreasonable reason. And yet, I can’t imagine life without it.

The point I’m trying to get to is this. If you hated Code Geass R2 because of the continuous plot changes, chances are… IT’S YOUR FAULT.

Because Oi, Hayaku! has gone down, I have taken my posts from OH! and brought them to MANiME for the sake of completion. This was the second official post in the blog, titled “Let’s Study English With Code Geass!”. I hope you enjoy.

Original Excerpt: Destroying the barriers of language the prevents humanity from being able to connect to one another, Oi, Hayaku! brings a ready-made program that will have you speaking English as if you were born in America! Or that other English-speaking country. You know the one. ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!

Hey, Japanese kids! Heard about that new English language craze that’s sweeping the nation… AND the world? Want to try speaking in those cool English phrases, but don’t know any? Well, don’t worry! Cause we of Oi, Hayaku! have come up with a simple and awesome program that will allow YOU to use English like a native speaker! This is all done through the use of that hit anime, Code Geass and it’s even-bigger-of-a-hit anime, Code Geass R2! Go around with the cool kids and show off your intensive vocabulary! Use phrases like “Yes, my Lord!” and “All hail Lelouch!” to get ALL the girls! Because, you see, girls LOVE men with an extensive knowledge of words! Just take a look at this graph that shows how the length of your vocabulary affects the girls you get in real life! After all, who wants virgins in heaven when you can get the bitches NOW?

After all, everyone knows that graphs make everything better, AND prove stuff that… uh, needs to be proved.
Now, without ado, let’s get to your English lessons! First, to make things easier, let’s try starting with simple words. Yes, that’s right, words.

Bunnygirl
Japanese girls are very good banigaru! So kawaii!

Lolicon
Lelouch is very much roricon. He likes little girls.

Maid
Sayako-san is a meido ninja garu. She is very skillful in what she does.

Melonpan
Kallen has a very nice melonpan! I wonder if it does not bother her while she is piloting her Guren?

Moe
Tenshi-sama is so moe! Fuck you if you do not think so.

Orange
No matter what happens, an orenji will always be orenji.

Now, let’s try to use more than one English word at a time! After all, you’ve mastered words, but what good are words if you can’t string them along in an attempt to woo the ladies?

Deliciously Flat Chest
I do not see anything there!

Knight the Zero
Because sometimes, being simply the Knight of Zero isn’t good enough.

Finally, let’s take it to the FINAL LEVEL! Once you’ve mastered these simple phrases, even the likes of Stephen Hawking will bow down before your intelligence!

“All Hail Britannia!”
It is good to have loyal feelings to your country.

“ALL HAIL LELOUCH!”
ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH!

“I CONTINUE TO FIGHT!”
Because he is never giving up, Jeremiah-san is very brave.

“Nani, My Hani?”
I wonder what is going on, my lovely person.

“OH GEASS NO!”
When things are at their worst and you cannot express the amount of anguish you are feeling in Japanese, try going “OH GEASS NO!” to the people around you!

There, you’ve now learned all there is to learn about English, and in less than an hour! Compulsory English training in schools? Please. Everyone knows that with this program, learning English is as easy as going 1, 2, 3… except in YOUR language, which would make it ichi, ni, san! Now, go out into the vast world in order to ASTOUND and AMAZE everyone with what you’re capable of! What are you waiting for? Go, and get yourself a beautiful “melonpan meido bunnygirl” girlfriend NOW!

Warning: This post is written in English, and any Japanese people wishing to learn English from this post must have prior knowledge of English beforehand. Furthermore, some of the vocabulary we teach you might not be actual English, or not English at all. We of Oi, Hayaku! are not responsible for anything that might happen to you while attempting to put your knowledge to the test. But don’t worry. We have complete faith in this system, and are willing to promise to you that it will work. We just don’t want to have to deal with anything that – might – go wrong. Besides, if something goes wrong, it’s you, not us. Thank you, and good bye.

Brought to you by Oi, Hayaku! for your pleasure. Wait for our new program, “Learning Fragmented English With TypeMoon”, giving you such catch phrases as Blue Blue Glass Moon, Under the Crimson Air and featuring the famous song “Unlimited Blade Works” by the hit J-Pop group Archer and the Shirous.

Because Oi, Hayaku! has gone down, I have taken my posts from OH! and brought them to MANiME for the sake of completion. This was the first official post in the blog, titled “Insert Food Pun -> Here <-”. I hope you enjoy.

Original Excerpt: They say that you are what you eat. If that is the case, do you need to eat a person in order to be a human? But if that act makes you a cannibal, then are you not, in essence, a monster? So, in order to be what you are, you need to eat a monster. But you are not a monster. You are a human. Long story short – don’t think about eating.

… and 4,000 dollar a month for food. For food! What the fuck was she eatin’ man? For four grand a month! I guess she’s like “I gotta get some extra cheese on my Whopper”…

-Chris Rock, Bring the Pain

Most of us have seen it at least once during our childhood. You know that scene, where Scooby and Shaggy devour a gigantic sandwich that no one could realistically finish. And we laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more. It’s funny, cause he’s a pot-smoking hippie scumbag scrawny dude. Of course, Shaggy and Scooby aren’t the only ones that can make us laugh. One can just as easily get a chuckle out of Garfield pigging out on a variety of Italian dishes or pastries. Jughead’s food obsession is one of the reasons why we love him – of course, I use we as a vague term. I’ve never read the Archie Comics, so I wouldn’t know, nor care. And there’s always a Dagwood sandwich for anyone who’s hungry – a gigantic sandwich named after a character from the hit (?) comic strip Blondie, notable for making those very sandwiches that have been named after him.

The glutton has been common in many characters throughout literature. It is, in many occasions, the trait of a comic character. Take, for instance, the Hobbits of J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series.

There was supposed to be a quote here from The Hobbit about how many meals the hobbits eat in one day. Sadly, I could not be bothered to find my copy of The Hobbit, and you will have to make do with this quote explaining why the quote could not be quoted.

The eating habits of the hobbits are often dealt with in a humorous manner during the series, or at least during the first book, and cements the role of hobbits as, among other things, the funny little guys that lighten the story. Granted, the movie does make Gimli a fun character, but I blame Peter Jackson for that.

~ Little Big Planet Eaters ~

It’s fun to watch thin people eat, really. It’s also philosophical. Where does all that food go? Are they actually eating that food? What does it mean to ‘eat’ something? And what is that secret recipe for KFC chicken? Really, though it’s much more fun to watch a thin character eat than a fat one – when you see a fat person in an anime eating, the first thought to come to your head (if you are me) is “Stop chugging down, you fat fuck!” Chances are, however, that you are not me, and if you are not me I really have no idea what you’re thinking. In that case, I shall presume to know what you are thinking, and hopefully, I am correct. A broken clock is right twice a day, after all. But really, a fat dude eating more food? Someone needs to tell the fool to go on a diet.

~ I Place My Tongue in Your Hands ~

One Piece has its share of big eaters. Of course, as one may expect, Luffy is eats enough food to feed a starving nation, and he does it in the course of one meal. His reckless eating habits manifest themselves in scenes where he sports a gigantic inflated stomach (though to be fair, it also happens with water – see: Water Luffy), though as comedic scenes it lasts for a single scene before turning normal again. Luffy’s love of food is one of the first things that come to a person’s mind when he is mentioned – along with his courage, his simple-mindedness and his loyalty, among other things.

Now, why is it that Luffy is able to eat so much? Here are some theories.

1. He’s a rubber human, and because he’s rubber, he can stretch. As a result, he’s capable of holding more food than a regular person.
2. Because Luffy fights a lot, he uses up a lot of energy. Something to do with high metabolism and converting his calories into energy and whatnot. Really, that requires knowledge of the human body and biology, which I lack. This seems the most likely, since the other characters don’t have Luffy’s stretchy powers, yet manage to eat nearly as much as he does.
3. One Piece is a fucking manga. Don’t try to apply your elitist-realist logic to it, you Neon Genesis Evengelion watching elitist.

But we can’t forget his brother, Portogas D. Ace, who first demonstrates to the readers of One Piece the fabled tactic of sleep-eating. In fact, Ace’s first appearance in the series is in a diner, face-down on his plate and his fork held high in the air, a piece of food still stuck to it. Concerned diners stare at the young man, wondering if he has died via the consumption of a Desert Strawberry, a venomous spider shaped like a strawberry. To the amusement of the readers, Ace then suddenly lifts his face up, revealing that he had simply fallen asleep, and then continues eating … only to fall asleep again. This talent of sleep-eating is acquired by Luffy later on, who uses it to well… eat while sleeping.

But let’s get to the main subject.

One of the main themes in One Piece is trust between comrades. Anyone who reads the series can tell you that. Or watch, for you anime people. Of course, being a shounen, it’s quite typical. Shounens are all about trust and friendship and lack of romance. But none of them show it quite as well as One Piece. Throughout One Piece, the crew of the Straw Hat Pirates change opponents – if an enemy is considered too strong for one character, they switch with their comrades. Check the Alabasta arc, the Skypeia arc and the Enies Lobby arc, and you’ll see it there. In other words, the characters of One Piece entrust their lives to their trusty companions. This can be seen in the role of Sanji, the cook of the Straw Hat Pirates.

Food is necessary to live. If we do not eat, we die. It’s a common concept. And for someone who eats as much as Luffy, it is extremely important. Food, then, equals life. The power to make food is the power over life and death. In appointing Sanji as the cook of his crew, Luffy has, in other words, entrusted his life in Sanji’s hands. You wouldn’t leave your medical affairs in the hands of a known criminal now, would you? Well, if your answer to that is yes, then you’re a very exciting person! But I wouldn’t want to be friends with you. This is relevant, because for Luffy, eating equals healing. Heck, he managed to recover from nearly fatal wounds and get a rematch with Crocodile simply after eating meat and drinking some water.

Moreover, Sanji constantly stresses the importance of food; having once gone through the horrors of starvation and seen its effects on his mentor Red Leg Zeff, he knows that it’s vital for a person to eat. In fact, he goes out of his way to feed a dangerous criminal, simply because the criminal was starving. This would later end up saving Sanji’s life, as the criminal – Gin – would later be unable to bring himself to kill Sanji, due to the kindness that he had shown to him. To take things further, virtually all of Sanji’s techniques are based on food, and even Zoro’s techniques often have food-related puns in them.

~ Eat to Live, or Live to Eat ~

A phrase often used by people who bitch on and on about food shortage and people who don’t really like eating is that they eat to live, not live to eat. Those people should try taking their case to Nougami Neuro. In fact, I dare them to. I don’t think the demon would take it to kindly.

Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro is a series centered around eating, and it shows on the two protagonists, Yako and Neuro. The two of them are fond of eating – Yako inhales food like a vacuum cleaner, and Neuro is constantly hunting down the mysteries that feed him. Though Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro is classified as a ’supernatural’ ‘mystery’ ‘horror’ series, its true nature is that of a ‘cooking’ series. Take a person, sprinkle a bit of motive in it, cook it with some vile concoctions and you’ve got yourself a delicious mystery full of evil intent, ready to be eaten!

In literal terms, Yako is a full-out glutton. For someone of her slender frame, she eats and eats and eats… and eats. Among her exploits are…

1. Finishing 4 bowls of udon.
2. Finishing a super-sized bowl of noodle that’s free if eaten under 20 minutes in under 10 minutes, and then going to a tongatsu restaurant across the street.
3. Eating almost everything in a high-class buffet within a half hour.
4. Choosing her high school based on the lunches it served.
5. Eating 26,000 yen worth of take-out courtesy of the police force.
6. As a child, filling up on glass marbles after mistaking them for candy.
7. Working for a bread factory, then being fired for eating all the bread in the production line.
8. Taking a shopping cart loaded with food on a school trip.
9. Eating 120 kilograms of a 200 kilogram fish, which should have been physically impossible.
10. Buying 20 kilograms of chocolate to make gifts for others… and eating nearly all of it by herself.

Yako’s love of eating is enough to overshadow her reputation as a detective; many people who recognize her refer to her as the “Eating Detective” or a similar variant, and in one chapter a character goes as far as to claim that a hungry Yako would even eat a person. Yako’s desire of food is fueled by her mother’s lack of cooking skills, which Yako has compared to “an act of terrorism”. Haruka’s cooking exploits include…

1. Sending 95% of the neighborhood association into the hospital with a pork soup she made.
2. Stopping by a hardware store in an attempt to buy ingredients for food.
3. Trying to make valentine’s chocolate and turning it into metal.
4. Making a cake for lunch… with chicken wings and eggs (logic being that they both come from a chicken), flour and insect pupae used for fishing (to bring out the flavor), butter and balloons (to make the cake puff and rise), and oil paint (food coloring).
5. Said cake would blow up and destroy a good part of the house.
6. Said cake would be used as garden blocks and wilt flowers, radiate radiation and fail to rot even after 10 years passed.

This all leads up to Yako developing a “cast-iron stomach and desire for food”. Of course, Yako isn’t just someone who eats. As to be expected of a heroine in a mystery novel, she has that uncanny ability to uncover the hidden motives behind a person’s crime. This is taken to a humorous level in one case, where she is able to determine that flaws of the criminal’s cooking, sensing that while it was delicious, it wasn’t something that could be called food. After one bite, too.

Truly, Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro is the living proof of the phrase “Live to Eat”. Neuro stakes his life on eating – food is SERIOUS BUSINESS to him. In a certain chapter, Neuro describes the hurdles for him to be in Earth – he lacks shouki, which is the demon equivalent to oxygen. In other words, Neuro is trying to eat without breathing. Yako herself compares it to “continuing to eat shellfish at the bottom of the ocean when you can’t breathe”, which she (unsurprisingly) has tried herself. Because you see, Neuro isn’t some pussy who’ll eat anything that’s been put in front of him. No, he’s hardcore. He’s the man who has solved (and eaten) all the mysteries of the demon world. When the super-antagonist Sicks offers him a mass of crimes created solely for the purpose of being solved by him, the manly demon tells Sicks to fuck off. Nougami Neruo can not be bought off with some artificial mysteries.

I have felt keenly these last few days that an unnatural “puzzle” will not do. There is a depth of flavor to the “puzzles” born from the evil intent of a true desire. Anything else is merely cultivated. A puzzle that can be created through threats is another matter entirely. Take back your pride, humans. Is your evil intent… that cheap a thing?

It is through his philosophy of eating that Neuro is able to connect with humanity. When a great deal of people are wiped out by a terrorist-made flood, Neuro is noticeably angry.

Even the one who held the “puzzle”… sank in the water and died. And that is not all. All the humans that drowned in the place… might have someday made a “puzzle”. They were the eggs of a superb “puzzle”. All of that was crushed. You could never understand this anger.

… I understand how much it hurts. The word Neuro used, “puzzle”… could be replaced with the word “possibility” in this situation now. The possibilities of multitudes of human beings… were stolen away in an instant by the “New Bloodline”.

Neuro’s relationship with humanity is comparable to that of a partnership. He protects them from the “New Bloodline” terrorists, and in return humanity provides him – albeit unknowingly – with the puzzles and mysteries that he consumes.

All humans are my source of food and playthings. Only I have the right to toy with them.

But of course, it doesn’t start out that way – the “New Bloodline” don’t appear until at a far later arc. Neuro’s relationship with humans evolves as the manga progresses – while he first considers them to be nothing more than food produces and slaves, he begins to think of them as tools – different from slaves – and, later on, individuals. In a moment of danger, he reveals himself to humans that he has saved, and is thus helped by Detective Sasazuka, allowing him to defeat a terrorist, Tierra.

Look, humans! At the man responsible for burying all of you here!! One man from a group that is trying to exterminate all of you!! It is necessary for me to rest a while!! You humans, protect yourselves!

Though Neuro initially starts out treating Yako as a mere puppet to hide his identity, he soon begins to think highly of her skills and urges her to improve. The two of them – the demon and his detective (or the detective and her demon) – are in a way colleagues. Both of them are connoisseurs when it comes to fine dining, though they derive nourishment from different sources. While Neuro continues to treat Yako poorly, he does, in his own way, consider her an equal… or at least more than a simple slave.

Um, Mr. Sasazuka… Neuro uses humans like trash, but… but he… would never kill or sacrifice humans. If you can stand up to him with all your might… there’s always a way out ready for you. That is… the difference between Neuro and the “New Bloodline”.

~ Food For Thought ~

Not only in anime and manga, but also in many works of literature, food is tied in with emotions. Which is to be expected, though, considering that being hungry tends to make people testy and angry. You doubt it? Then try eating a hamburger in front of a homeless and hungry man. He’ll fucking rip you to shreds. And rightfully so. You don’t taunt a hungry hungry hobo. You don’t mess with a fucking hungry hungry hobo.

Think about it. When you want revenge, you’re not simply out to avenge. No, you HUNGER for revenge. Your deep desire is about as deep as a deep dish pizza. It is as if you are in an emotional FAMINE, and the only thing that can satisfy your hunger is the death of the one who has wronged you. Nothing else can fulfill that dark and empty hole in your soul. It’s like trying to fill a cup with holes in it with water. It just trickles down. What you need to do is put in a cup-sized and cup-shaped piece of clay, you see? The same applies for your curiosity. You don’t simply want to know things, you have a THIRST for knowledge, that can only be QUENCHED. You don’t try to drink from a cup with holes, you THRUST your fucking head into the fountain and DRINK till you can’t drink anymore. Because if you are in a DROUGHT, a fucking sip isn’t going to cut it for you.

Of course, Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro and One Piece aren’t the only series with references to food.

• Naruto: Naruto himself is named after those… swirly things in ramen, and Anko is named after the ingredients in her favorite food.
• Spice and Wolf: Horo. Apples. OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
• Dragonball: What started it all. Those Saiyans have a notoriously large appetite. And Buu? Buu could turn people into cookies and fucking eat them to gain their powers. If that’s not obsession, I don’t know what is.
• Lucky Star: The first episode was basically tips on how to eat bread. Or, at least, that’s the gist of it.
• TYPEMOON: Apparently, the male protagonists of TYPEMOON works are good cooks. Everyone loves Shirou’s cooking (Saber especially) and Shiki is able to get Acrueid to do things by threatening not to make her breakfast in the Melty Blood manga. And of course… Ciel and curry.

And of course, there’s so much more. Whether it’s used as a simple gag trick, or a focus of a certain episode, food does play a gigantic part in anime. The necessity for food is perhaps the only daily function that is shown in anime – you don’t see characters go to the bathroom on a daily basis, do you? Even games take this into account – in many of the Tales of… series, one can choose to cook after a battle, allowing characters to heal HP and SP, or even gain some stat increases for the next battle. Or, of course, there are those Metal Gear games where you eat snakes or something. I wouldn’t know. I don’t play Metal Gear Solid. Heck, I once mistook Metal Gear for that other Metal game. Metal Slug, or something. The concept is, in the end, food equals healing, healing equals life. You need food.

~ Conclusion ~

I supposed I should conclude this article with a witty anecdote or something of the like. Perhaps using the phrase “just desserts” since it’s humorously fitting. But, as any of my university professors will tell you, I suck at conclusions almost as much as I suck at introductions. So you’re only getting a random picture from me.

I think it speaks for itself.

For those of you going too long; didn’t read, here’s the gist of it.

FOOD IS IMPORTANT, BITCH.

For those of you who don’t know who Lordi are, they’re a Finnish Heavy Metal band from (you guessed it!) Finland. Now, normally, their songs are hardcore and loud and go on and on about killing things. Typical rap heavy metal stuff, I guess. But, as if to prove that heavy metal cannot be confined to one genre of music, despite being one genre of music, they’ve given us this little gem.

May I present to you their song, Blood Red Sandman, which just might be the most Moe~ song in the history of mankind.

“But Colonel Welsh Bonsley Junior the Third,” you may ask, “what’s so Moe~ about a video like that?” To which I have this to say.

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO CALL ME COLONEL WELSH BONSLEY JUNIOR THE THIRD? WHAT THE FUCK MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT? DO YOU KNOW ME? HUH? HUH? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ACTING SO FAMILIAR WITH ME, YOU FUCKING BITCH?

That said, I shall explain just exactly why Blood Red Sandman is the most Moe~ of them all. It’s all in the lyrics, man, all in the lyrics.

First of all, let us examine the chorus of the song.

Once again there is pain,
I bring flames I bring cold
I’m the Blood Red Sandman coming home
On this unholy night I will make you my own
Blood Red Sandman coming home again
I’m coming home again!

Obviously, this song is a love ballade, one full of sadness and melancholy. The titular Blood Red Sandman hasn’t been home for a long time, for why else would he make such a big deal about coming home. He’s been travelling. Perhaps he’s been banished for a crime he did not commit. Perhaps he has been searching for that one true love of his. He’s been through a lot of crap, probably because he’s forced to bring flames and cold along with him, regardless of his good intent. Still can’t see the Moe~ of it all? Let’s try a different approach.

Imagine it in your head. A hurt, emotionally-crippled adorable little girl (like the one in that anime you’re watching). All she wants to do is find a person who can understand her, to love her. She’s cursed by the Gods – disaster follows her whereever she goes, and she can’t stop it. So people hate her, throw rocks at her and chase her away from their towns. Don’t you just want to hug her? Tell her everything’s gonna be all right?

Now, let’s move on to other parts of the song.

Can you hear how the children weep?
Chills of fear like a sawblade cutting deep…

The children that are weeping are a metaphor for the Blood Red Sandman’ s own sorrow. He’s suffered injustice. He’s suffered evil. He’s a kind-hearted soul, an innocent being, much like a child. And much like a lone child, he’s quite afraid. Why is the world so set against him? The fear he feels is almost physical, like “a sawblade cutting deep”. Still don’t get it? Then replace Blood Red Sandman with the aforementioned hurt, emotionally-crippled adorable little girl and read it again. Hell, technically, it doesn’t even have to be a little girl. It can be a hurt, emotionally-crippled adorable young lady. Still Moe~ regardless.

“But Colonel Welsh Bonsley Junior the Third,” you may ask, “what about the name? The name Blood Red Sandman doesn’t invoke in me a feeling of deep pity and compassion!”

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING ME THAT, ASSWIPE?

But I digress. Let’s get back to the topic.

The name Blood Red Sandman is a representation of our misunderstood hero. They call him the Blood Red Sandman because they don’t understand him. They think he’s evil. They think he’s some destructive force of nature who spites them. But that’s not true, is it now? This just makes the Blood Red Sandman even MORE of a pitiful thing to be loved. Besides, there’s nothing wrong about being associated with blood, is there now? Even stuff that have blood on them can be Moe~ too! Take this picture below.

Is this not so Moe~ that you could die? Doesn’t all that red blood make her seem adorable and lovable? What do you mean, it makes her appear creepy? Fine, you jackasses, try this picture instead, then.

See? See? Those two pictures… they’re of the SAME FUCKING character. Now, the second picture is undeniably Moe~ is it not? You agree, right? Well, then, since the first picture features Remilia Scarlet as well, logic states that it’s JUST as Moe~ as the second. If you don’t understand something that simple, you’re a fucking moron.

Finally, we have the very first line of the song.

They called me the Leather Apron

The key words here are ‘leather’ and ‘apron’. Few words are as Moe~ as ‘leather’ and ‘apron’, if you must know. Leather is, of course, acknowledged as the world’s leading choice of material when it comes to creating sexy clothes (save nothing, but nudity is not the topic we’re discussing, so nudists can shut the fuck up) and making people who wear it feel uncomfortable and immoral. As for apron… well, NAKED APRON, AM I RIGHT? Now, imagine the Blood Red Sandman- you know what, forget you. You people won’t accept the Blood Red Sandman, so just replace every single instance of Blood Red Sandman with adorable and sad little girl and interpret it that way instead. Yeah, that’s right, imagine a cute and criminally underaged emotionally-starved little girl in a naked leather apron.

You bunch of sick, sick, SICK fucks.

Well, there you have it. If everything I’ve done up to this point to convince you that Blood Red Sandman is possibly the world’s greatest Moe~ song ever, then I honestly don’t know what will. If I have convinced you, however… well, then the world appears to be a brighter place, and the total unification of the world may not be far off.

Now, I invite you, the reader (cause, you know, I only have one) to tell me YOUR totally over-the-top Moe~ songs in your life.

May you find your own Blood Red Sandman, who’ll watch over you in the darkness of the night. Peace.

So, apparently, there’s a NEW Prince of Tennis. Called Shin (new) Prince of Tennis. Wow, what a fucking original name. Adding a “Shin” to the title is about as creative as a rapper calling himself 50 Cent.

I really, REALLY wish Konomi could have changed the title of the series. Preferably into something uninteresting, so that I wouldn’t try to find out what it was about. Then I would have remained blissfully unaware of its existence. But no, that fucking bastard had all the sensitivity of a cockroach and added a fucking shin to the beginning. Makes me wanna kick him in the shin. Or the balls. Actually, doesn’t matter where. I just want to kick him.

I thought that with Prince of Tennis’s end in… well, I don’t really remember exactly when it ended, nor am I dying to find out. Either way, I thought I could bury the hatchet. Prince of Tennis and me, we had a thing going on. I fucking hated it, and it remained oblivious of my existence, except when I deleted around 2 GB worth of the manga after I decided that I couldn’t put up with it anymore. But when it ended and died off like some pathetic worm, I thought that there was no reason in me hating it anymore. I stopped hating. I became happier. Black people stopped trying to beat me up for being a ‘hater’.

But it seems like Konomi is still intent on milking semen from his cash bull. Just why in God would they allow a fucking abomination like PoT into the world again? Just look at the fucking abbreviation of the title. POT. IT’S FUCKING POT. And it’s not just the usual pot, it’s some high-class NEW-brand SHIN POT.

New Prince of Tennis does give me one thing, however.  It gives me proof that there is no fucking God, for no just God would do this to mankind. And I can rub that in to the faces of those religious nutjobs. Which makes it *almost worth it.

Almost. Because NOTHING is worth New Prince of Tennis.

*By almost, I mean it in a we-ALMOST-saved-his-life, one-million-is-ALMOST-twenty-three, John-McCain-ALMOST-became-president kind of way.

Seeing as Oi, Hayaku! is closing down, I’m returning to MANiME full-time. And by full-time, I mean I’ll barely work on it. Starting off with a completely new design (that is, one from the already created ones; it’s not like I’m going to go through the trouble of making a custom one) and a whole lot of pizzazz, MANiME will be the place where all the cool kids on the block hang out! That is, after they’ve been drugged, kidnapped and imprisoned in said place, of course.

Not that any of you give a damn.

Bah humbug.

So, I’ve joined the cast of Oi, Hayaku! as one of the Free+Write bloggers. As such, I probably won’t be blogging much. Especially since I’m working on two other blogs, Maggeh’s Dome of Instability and Untitled Sniperville Story V2 at the same time. Plus, there’s personal life and shit.

So, to the one reader of the blog – I’m looking at you, me – I say, go check it out! Oi, Hayaku is an awesomely awesome blog with awesome people – except me, cause I suck at writing – and it’ll be well-worth the time.

I’ll still work on this blog, though extremely rarely. Perhaps… one update a month? Generally when they release more scans of Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro. Cause after all, with Code Geass R2 finished and all, there’s not much for me to do these days.

OH, SUNRISE, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE CODE GEASS AWAY FROM ME? IT WAS MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm… I know it ended a while ago, but I’m still considering doing a send-off post for Code Geass. It deserves that much, at least.